


Heart Of Ice

by Kai_Maciel



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Family, Family Issues, Frigga (Marvel) Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Kid Loki and Kid Thor (Marvel), Loki needs a Family, Mother-Son Relationship, Odin (Marvel)'s Parenting, POV Frigga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 12:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16063577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kai_Maciel/pseuds/Kai_Maciel
Summary: Despite Asgard's victory against Jotunheim, Queen Frigga remains cold in her sorrow after the loss of her second son, unable to care for Thor and blaming her husband for chaining her to Asgard as it's Queen. As she finally decides to flee Asgard and return to her homeland of Vanaheim, Odin returns from the war carrying the infant son of his enemy, Laufey.However, no child will ever replace Balder.





	1. The Jotun

_Asgard, 965 A.D._

The people of Asgard were celebrating. On every street, there was cheering and songs, mead was drunk in every house, people hugged, laughed, clapped. There were smiles and cheer as far as the eyes could see.

However, if one were to look closely at the cheering Aesir, they would see the eyes filled with worry, grief, and despair. Fathers, and mothers clutching their sons' belongings to their chests, tears of rage and sorrow as they cursed fate and the Jotnar for taking their children away. 

No matter how proud they were of their fallen sons, they grieved their deaths nonetheless. 

Frigga stared at the realm of the tower she used as her chamber. Since the beginning of the war against Jotunheim, she and Thor had been placed in a secret building away from the city with only one of her handmaiden, Vela, to help her.

Slowly, Frigga pulled one of the blue curtains open and watched the people. She saw a middle-aged woman fall on her knees in front of a soldier, her mouth opened in a wail of anguish. She had just gotten the news that her son had fallen in battle.

Frigga stared at the woman with a blank expression and hollow eyes. Under other circumstances, she would have felt sympathy towards that poor woman's plight, but her heart was cold now and unfeeling. All she felt was resentment.

That woman might have lost her son, but at least she had the chance to have him.

Frigga pressed her forehead against the cold glass and closed her eyes, her right hand closed around the letter she carried in secret.

She could still feel him, moving inside her pregnant belly, growing inside her. Her baby, her precious child. 

Balder. 

She placed one hand on her empty belly. She remembered the pains of labor, the first cries of her child, her tears of joy as she held him for the first time and kissed his forehead.

But then, her baby stopped breathing. In a haze, she remembered Odin's screams, the healers, the sorcerers coming into the room.

The word curse being muttered over and over.

And then, her Balder was gone from her arms. By the time she came to, she was told by a crying Odin that their son had been cursed. As long as he stayed in Asgard, his life would be drained away. He was taken to her homeland, Vanaheim, and placed in her brother's care until they found how to break the curse.

But they never found a way, just as they never found out who had done it. There were thousands, even millions of people with a grudge against Asgard and Odin was unsuccessful to find who had done this to their son.

_Her_  son.

And so, Balder grew in secret with Frey and Gerd, safe from further harm but under the guise of their son. At first, Frigga tried to spend every moment she could with him on Vanaheim, but her duties as Queen of Asgard were chains that always pulled her back and away from her son, ripping her heart in pieces.

The last time she had visited Balder, she could not take it anymore. While Odin talked with her brother and sister-in-law, she took the little boy into her arms and ran out the door. She was not thinking, she merely acted what her heart told her was right. She had her son, he was meant to be with her. Nothing else mattered except taking him away from Frey, from Odin and her duties as the cursed Queen of Asgard. As long as they were together, everything would be alright.

But then, Balder began to cry and struggle from her embrace. He wailed and screamed for someone behind him, his tiny hands reaching out towards the house they were escaping from.

It took Frigga a moment to realize that he was calling for "mama", but it was not her.

"Frigga! Don't!" 

At the sound of her husband's strained voice, she finally stopped and looked back. 

Odin was standing a few meters from Frey's house, his eyes filled with sorrow. Frey and Gerd were close behind him. Her brother stared at her with worry and sympathy, while his wife's eyes were filled with tears.

Balder finally broke free from her and ran back towards the house, passing Odin and throwing himself into Gerd's arms, crying for his mama. Slowly, Gerd pulled him against her chest, crying silently as she held him.

To Frigga, it felt like her heart had been ripped open from her chest. She had lost Balder in all the ways that mattered. He did not see her as his mother at all. In his heart, his mother was Gerd.

Falling to her knees, Frigga barely noticed as Odin took her back to Asgard, her shiny, golden prison, leaving her broken heart on Vanaheim. 

After that day, she closed herself to everyone. She moved away from the chamber she shared with Odin and refused to talk or touch him. She spent her days lying in bed, refusing to eat, ignoring Odin's pleas and Thor's cries.

She did not want to see children, especially Thor, who laughed and played like nothing was wrong. Apparently, he had been told that his baby brother was not coming after all and, in his innocence, he merely placed his attention on another game and toys.

It was not fair. Frigga knew that she could not fault Thor for being there while Balder was not, but she could not help but feeling a wave of resentment every time, he came knocking on her door, only to feel crushed with guilt as he was taken away by a maid, crying for her.

When the war against Jotunheim began, Frigga's heart felt as frozen as the ice their enemies wielded. She saw her husband leave for battle with a blank stare and silence. Only in the privacy of her new chamber did she allow herself to cry, realizing that there was a chance he would never return.

Now the war was over. Asgard had prevailed once more and Odin lived to tell the tale.

Frigga pulled the letter from her pocket and opened it. Though she had read it enough times to know its content by heart, she could not help but want to make sure it really existed.

_My dear sister,_

_Words cannot express the grief you must be feeling. As a mother myself, I cannot imagine what I would do if my daughter was taken from me so viciously._

_I know you, sister. I know your heart’s desire and I want to make it come true._

_Asgard is your prison. As long as you are Queen, you will be kept away from Balder, chained by your title. No mother should face that kind of sacrifice. So, come home, sister. Come to Vanaheim and be with your son. There are pathways unknown even to Odin, we are ready to take you and Balder and hide you both away from him._

_If it's Thor that bothers you, please do not. Thor is Asgard's and Odin's treasured first born. He will live surrounded by love, many women would gladly take your place as caretakers for the future king._

_So, come home, my beloved sister. Come back and be the mother of your son. I will wait for as long as it takes._

_Your sister,_

_Freyja_

Frigga put down the letter and hid it away in her pocket. There was a small bag hidden under her bed. If she wanted, she could put on a cloak and leave in the dark of the night.

Staring at the mourning mothers in the streets of Asgard, Frigga made her decision. Tonight, everyone would be distracted by the celebrations, she could easily slip away into the mountains and leave forever.

She would be with Balder. She would take him and raise him. In time, he would forget Gerd and Frey and they would be together as mother and son like it should have been.

She would leave Odin and Thor.

Again, her chest ached. If she left, she would never see Thor again. Her son would grow up knowing his mother had abandoned him to be with his brother.

How could she do this? How could she leave her little Thor behind? 

She wanted nothing more than to grab him and take him with her to Vanaheim, be with her two sons forever. But she knew this was not possible. Thor was the Crown Prince of Asgard, she could not take him from here.

Maybe Freyja was right. Thor would cry for a while, but he would forget her in time as other women took her place in his life. He would grow with his father's love and the love of his people. Maybe Odin would remarry and give him a loving stepmother. He would never feel alone.

Then, why did the thought of leaving him feel like it was tearing her apart? Why did the thought of another woman raising him give her pain?

Frigga closed the curtains and covered her face with her hands. Her heart was ripped in half and, no matter what she decided, it would never stop hurting.

"Frigga?"

She looked up. Frigga had been so wrapped up in her dark thoughts that she did not notice that someone had opened the door.

She stared in shock as Odin entered the chamber, still in his armor, his face covered with blood and his right eye missing from its socket.

"Odin!" she cried, instinctively running to him and placing her hands on his bloody face. "Your eye!"

Her husband smiled, grabbing her right hand pressing it gently against his rough one. 

"A small price to pay for Asgard's victory," he told her, kissing her hand. "It's over now. You're all safe."

Despite the darkness in her heart, Frigga still felt relieved that her husband had survived and worried over the loss of his eye. She still loved him, he was still the same Odin she had fallen in love with when they were young. 

Though his position as King chained her to Asgard.

She moved away from him, the light vanishing from her eyes. She noticed his wounded expression but did not allow herself to feel.

"Congratulations on your victory," she said. "I'm sure they will sing songs about this battle for the centuries to come."

"I have no interest in songs at the moment. This war was brutal, many good men perished. It will take weeks to retrieve all the bodies," he told her, revealing the sadness and exhaustion he had been keeping away from his warriors. "Knowing that you were here... that you and Thor were here, safe, was what kept me going in that ice Hel."

He tried to touch her arm, but Frigga moved away. She hated this distance between them, but she could not bring herself to love him again. Not when she was ready to leave him.

"There's something else I wish to tell you, my love," Odin said. "No one knows this yet and I wanted you to be the first to know."

Frigga crossed her arms over her chest. Odin's secrets no longer mattered. "What is it?"

The king stared at her for a few seconds, trying to find the right words. His hesitation made Frigga feel anxious about the nature of this secret. 

"Odin?"

The king looked up with his remaining blue eye. He seemed worried.

"I've brought a child with me. From Jotunheim."

Frigga felt as if all the air in her lungs had been taken away. She stood in front of her husband, her mouth open and eyes wide before her expression changed from shock to absolute disgust.

"I should have known... A man at war with a frigid wife at home."

"Frigga! It's not...!"

"Who was she? One of your Midgardian worshipers? Did she gladly let you take her child to Asgard to be a god?"

"No! Frigga, that was not what happened!"

"Or was it a Jotun warrior woman instead?! They are formidable in battle from what I heard!"

"Frigga! I did not break our vows! I did not lay with another woman!" Odin yelled back. "This child is not mine! It's Laufey's!"

Frigga closed her mouth. She was not sure she had heard Odin correctly. Surely, she had misunderstood.

"Laufey's? You brought... Laufey's child here?"

Odin nodded. "I did."

"Are you mad?!" she yelled. "You kidnapped his heir? You brought  _a Jotun_  to Asgard?"

Odin shook his head, staring back at his wife with a pleading eye. 

"I did not kidnap him. Farbauti gave birth to a runt. I found him inside Ymir's temple, suffering, dying..." the King of Asgard stared at his hands. "When I saw him lying there, abandoned... I could not leave him to that fate, Frigga. No infant deserves to be left to die all alone."

Frigga looked away from her husband's intense stare. Her heart might be cold, but she understood Odin's actions. How could a parent abandon their child to die? How could anyone ignore a dying baby in need? Odin had done the right thing. He had saved an innocent child, even though it was the child of his most hated enemy.

She moved further away, towards the windows and pulled the curtain open. The bright sun hurt her eyes.

"It's a boy?" she asked.

"Aye."

"The Crown Prince of Jotunheim here... in Asgard," she muttered. "What do you plan to do? I'm sure you have a plan for this boy."

"You think of me that calculating?"

"No. I know you have thought everything through before bringing this boy to your Realm. So, what is it that you are planning?"

Odin tentatively moved closer to his Queen, as if he was afraid she would run from him if he got too close.

"This child might be the key to peace. Permanent peace between Asgard and Jotunheim," he answered, not touching her but close enough to if he wished. "The rightful king of Jotunheim, raised among the Aesir, alongside Asgard's future King..."

Frigga turned quickly to face her husband, her eyes wide open.

"You mean to raise him alongside Thor?" she asked, her voice rising. "Here? With us?"

Odin's one eye filled with sadness. "Frigga... my love..."

"You mean to replace Balder with this Jotun child?!" Frigga yelled. "No! I will not allow it! No one can take my son's place! How dare you? How could you even think such a thing? Balder cannot be replaced! Not by Laufey's rejected runt!"

"Frigga!" Odin cried out, both saddened and shocked by her harsh words.

Frigga closed her mouth and rubbed her hand over her tired eyes. "I'm sorry... that was a cruel thing to say, but that is my answer, Odin. Balder cannot be replaced."

Odin let out a long sigh. "That is not what I want either. Of course, no one can replace our son, I would never ask that of you."

Frigga rubbed her arms, taking long deep breaths. Her head was pounding as painfully as her chest.

"I will find suitable guardians for the boy, but it might take a while. I'll be too busy dealing with the peace treaty and recovering our dead in the coming weeks," Odin told her. "Asgard is the most dangerous place for a young Jotun right now. Our people's hatred and grief can blind them, especially since the baby is Laufey's son. I'll need to keep his existence a secret for now and this tower is the safest building in the Realm. I humbly ask you to hide the baby here, until I find a proper guardian. I left him at the top of this tower, in the highest room. You will not need to see him, I only ask if you could send Vela to care for him. You said she is trustworthy."

Frigga faced her husband. She refused to think about the Jotun baby on the top of the tower, the mere thought of another baby that close to her made her ill, but she understood Odin's predicament. This child was an innocent and she would never live with herself if she was somehow responsible for placing him in danger due to her bitterness and anger. Enough children had suffered already.

"Very well. I'll allow it. You may talk to Vela and explain the situation, she will not break our trust."

Odin smiled at her, his whole body relaxing with relief. "Thank you, my love."

Frigga nodded and turned around, her silent plea for her husband to leave. 

"Before I go, I went to see Thor in his chamber below us," Odin said. "He... asked me to bring you this."

At the mention of Thor, Frigga turned to face Odin again. Her chest tightened when she saw what her husband had brought her from their son.

A yellow tulip, just like the ones from the garden where she and Thor used to play, still with the roots and dirt.

"He said he tried to give it to you earlier, but you were asleep," Odin told her, handing her the flower.

With her eyes brimming with tears, Frigga took the tulip.

_Oh, Thor. My sweet, little boy_. 

"I will see you later, my love," Odin said, slowing turning around and leaving her chamber, closing the door behind him.

Frigga finally fell on her knees, tears rolling down her cheeks. She pressed the tulip to her chest.

She could not leave them. She could not leave her Thor or Odin. Not tonight.

Later that day, by nightfall, Frigga went down the stairs and stood by Thor's chamber. She could hear her son yelling and Vela's voice trying to convince him to take a bath, her handmaiden was not successful. Thor was on a full tantrum.

Carefully, she opened the door. Thor's chamber was messy, toys on every surface, a plate with untouched vegetables, and yet it was still clean. 

The little blond toddler was hiding under the bed while Vela tried to convince him to come out. Her handmaiden's brown eyes widened when she saw Frigga by the threshold, it was the first time in many months that she had come to this chamber.

"My Queen," Vela stood up and pulled her strawberry, blond hair away from her face. 

"Goodnight Vela," Frigga said.

At the sound of her voice, Thor's head appeared from under the bed. He stared at her for less than a second before rushing across the room and hugging her legs tight.

"Mama! Mama!" he cried, burying his little face on her dress. 

With her lower lips quivering, Frigga picked up her oldest boy and hugged him tightly.  She had missed his touch, his scent. She had missed him so much. How could she ever leave him?

"Hello, my love," she told him, kissing him on the forehead. "What are you doing?"

"Mama come play!" the toddler urged her. 

"My apologies, My Queen," Vela bowed. "I was about to give the prince his bath before cleaning the chamber."

"It's alright, Vela," Frigga told her. "I know this little one can be a handful. You may rest for today. I'll give him his bath." 

Vela's eyes grew even wider, but Frigga could not blame her astonishment. For years she had locked herself away in her chamber, crying and mourning for Balder. The few times she had been with Thor were short and tense. There had been no place for him in her grieving heart.

Her precious baby Thor, who smiled and laughed and only wanted his mama.

Frigga gave Thor his bath and stayed with him for most of the night. The toddler was so excited to have her with him that he would not fall asleep, so they played with his toys, sang songs and listened to Frigga's stories. Finally, Thor fell into an exhausted yet happy sleep in his mother's lap. 

Kissing him goodnight, Frigga silently left his chamber and went back into her own, also falling asleep. She only slept a couple of hours, before waking up with a terrible headache.

She looked out her window, it was still dark, but the sun was about to come out. Silently, she grabbed her robes and went to the bathroom down the hall on her floor. The warm water from the large tub connected to several natural fountains relaxed her tired muscles and relieved her headache substantially.  These waters were connected to the hall of healing and shared many of its properties.

As she got dressed, Frigga heard a strange sound. She looked around, failing to locate its source when she realized it was coming from the ventilation shaft. This tower was old, and the bathrooms carried the sounds from other floors, this one was high pitched and weak, and it seemed to be coming from the upper floors. 

It surprised Frigga to recognize it as the sound of a crying infant. 

The Jotun baby.

Frigga dried her hair and left the bathroom. She returned to her chamber and its silence, feeling uneasy though she had no reason to. Surely Vela would go to the infant and take care of his needs, but there was something in those whimpers that bothered her. 

Before she had time to think it over, Frigga left her chamber and walked towards the elevator. When she reached the top floor of the tower and the elevators doors opened, she heard the baby's cries coming from his chambers.

With her heart pounding in her chest, Frigga slowly opened the door and entered the chamber.

The first thing she noticed was the cold. The room was freezing and dark as every window was covered up with dark, thick drapes. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she realized the room was bare. There was only a cabinet, a table with a few bottles, a small tub under a faucet and a cradle right in the middle of the large, empty room.   

Frigga walked towards the cradle, where the crying was coming from, and peeked inside.

There was a tiny, blue newborn crying inside the cradle, his tiny hands, and feet waving in the air.

Frigga stared at the baby with wide eyes. She was not sure what she was expecting Laufey's son to look like, but she had imagined a big, strong child, even though he was a runt. This infant was very small, even smaller than Thor and Balder had been. He looked frail and malnourished. 

Were it not for his blue skin and skin marks, she would never guess this was a Jotun, let alone the son of the King of Jotunheim. 

The newborn continued to cry, the sound echoing across the unfurnished chamber. Looking at him, small and helpless in his cradle, all alone on the top of this tower, made Frigga's heart ache.

Slowly, the Queen reached out and placed her hands on the baby's head. She was surprised by how cold his skin felt, like ice, but not cold enough to give her frostbite. 

"Shh... do not cry, little one. It's alright," she whispered, but the infant continued to cry.

This was wrong. This child should not be in this lonely, cold place. He needed care and he needed to be held.

Being as careful as possible, Frigga placed her hands under the child and took him in her arms, instinctively rooking him back and forth.

She was surprised at how different holding this baby felt in comparison to both Thor and Balder. She believed that holding another child would bring nothing but painful memories of Balder, but that was not the case. This child was not Balder, it felt nothing like him, and yet, holding him in her arms did not feel like she was betraying her son's memory either.

This baby was his own person, with a different appearance, different touch, and even a different scent.

Frigga felt something wet on her arm and noticed that the cloth around the baby's crotch was soaked.

"Oh, little one. No wonder you're this upset."

Frigga went to the cabinet and opened the drawers with one hand while holding the crying baby with the other until she found clean cloths and soap. Then, she moved towards the tub and filled with warm water before realizing that warmth might not be the best choice for a Jotun baby.

Still, as she placed the infant in the tub, he seemed to calm down a little bit, his crying easing into occasional whimpers. Carefully, she washed the baby's skin, noticing how soft it was despite the cold. Frigga had seen a few Jotnar in her life, but this baby did not resemble them very much. His features were softer and rounder, much like an Aesir, a Vanir or even a Midgardian baby. 

Like all her people, she had expected to feel repulsed by a Jotun, but she was not. This child was beautiful in his own way. 

"There. All clean," she said to the baby. "Now let's dry you up, shall we?"

The baby was not pleased to get out of the tub and the water, bursting into another angered wail. 

"I'm sorry, my love. I know you were comfortable in there."

Gently, Frigga dried the baby with a soft towel and put another cloth around his legs, before picking him up again and rock him with experienced movements as he cried.

Growing tired of the darkness, Frigga pulled the drapes open letting in the light of Asgard's sunrise. She sat down by the window with the baby, watching as his cries slowly came to a stop and he stared back at her with big, red eyes filled with innocent wonder.

"Good morning, little prince," Frigga told him, her lips curling into a smile. "Are you feeling better now?"

The baby continued to stare back at her, cooing and gurgling softly.

"You're right. This place was too dark, it needed a little sun," she placed her hand on his bare chest. "You have to forgive Odin. He was probably in a hurry and believed you would feel more comfortable in a dark and cold room. I will let Vela know and make this room a bit more cheerful, alright?"

The baby cooed and grabbed her hand with his little fingers. 

Something inside Frigga stirred, warm and painful at the same time. Something familiar and primal. She looked at the baby, her blue eyes fixed on his red ones, feeling like something powerful was connecting them through touch and eye contact alone. 

Then, to her surprise, she watched as the baby began to change. It started in his head, blue skin and Jotun marks becoming pink and smooth skin with wispy dark hair, moving toward his eyes, changing them from bright red to a white sclera with a green iris and spreading to his whole body. 

Frigga felt his cold skin become warm, just like an Aesir baby. She stood there, staring at him with wide eyes, while the baby stared back at her like nothing had happened. He did not seem aware of the change, merely cooing and yawing. 

He was about to fall asleep when the door opened, and a very surprised Vela stood by the doorframe.

"My Queen?" Vela asked, glancing at Frigga and then at the baby, her eyes growing even wider when she saw his appearance. 

"Good morning, Vela. I could not sleep and when I heard him crying... I could not ignore it."

Vela composed herself and smiled at her mistress. "Of course, your Majesty. I am deeply sorry that you went through all this trouble."

"Not at all! I'm glad I came to see him," Frigga answered, surprising herself with how truthful she really felt. "I've already changed him. He's about to fall asleep so maybe we should let him rest for a while before feeding him. What do you think?"

"Of course, my Queen. Thank you," Vela walked up to Frigga, her eyes fixed on the child.

"Oh! He changed his skin just now," Frigga explained, standing up and moving the baby so his sleepy head rested on her shoulder. "I have never seen something like this. I am guessing this little one has a little seidr in him."

Vela's expression was carefully neutral. 

"Yes. He also changed yesterday, when the King left this chamber," the handmaiden reached out for the baby. "You may rest now, my Queen. I will handle him from here."

With more reluctance than she expected, Frigga carefully handed the baby to Vela. The moment the handmaiden picked up the baby, he immediately woke up and began to wail. Frigga tried to pick him up again, but Vela moved out of her grasp.

"Do not worry, your Majesty. I'll take care of him. Please, take some rest. Breakfast will be here shortly, and I am sure Prince Thor will be up soon."

Thinking of Thor and how happy he was when she finally spend some time with him, made the Queen long to be with him again. She should not have kept her son away for so long, and she had forgotten how much she missed him.

Nodding, Frigga turned around to leave the baby's chamber. She looked back when she heard Vela's surprised cry and saw that the baby had reverted back to his Jotun form.

"Do not worry, my Queen. The same thing happened yesterday," Vela told her, holding the now blue, crying baby.

"Right... Oh! Please keep the drapes open, this chamber is too dark for a baby."

"Yes, my Queen."

Opening the door, Frigga finally left the chamber and walked back to the elevator, the baby's cries tugging at her heartstrings, though she could not explain exactly why. Or maybe, she did not want to acknowledge it at the time.

Much later, she would look back at this moment and wonder what would have happened if she had stayed with the baby or even taken him back to her chamber.

One thing she was certain, she should have never left Vela alone with the child. 


	2. My Son

_Asgard, 965 A.D._

Frigga spent the following three days feeling torn. Still carrying her sister's letter, and the promise to be with Balder forever, she spent the majority of her time with Thor. She went to his chamber so they could share their meals, played with him, took him on walks around the garden behind the tower and watched him fall asleep in her arms at night. 

Every time she left her sleeping son's chamber, Frigga would walk to her own and stare at her bed, where a secret bag resided beneath it. And every night she would close her fist around the letter and collapse on her bed.

She could not do it. She could not leave her family behind. Not yet.

Lying in bed, listening to the night sounds mixed with the voices of the Asgardian people on the streets below her, Frigga found herself thinking about the Jotun baby those three nights. Vela was looking after the child and usually left to care for him while Frigga was with Thor. After years of looking after her eldest boy, Frigga knew the baby could not be in more capable hands, but still, the Queen found herself thinking about him. 

She could not forget the weight of his little body in her hands or the way his little fingers curled around her own.

Furthermore, Vela seemed different ever since the baby arrived. Frigga had noticed that her handmaiden looked pale and her smile seemed forced, she had seen her hands shake more than once. However, the Queen dismissed this, after all, Vela must have been tired after needing to look after another child. 

On the fourth day after the end of the war, Frigga was sitting by the window of Thor’s chamber, playing together with his toy soldiers and wooden skiffs. She looked down and saw Vela talking to an Einherjar in the road. The man had obviously been in the war, for he looked battered and covered in fresh scars. Vela nodded at the warrior and began to walk towards the Tower. 

When she arrived at Thor's chamber, Vela greeted her Queen and Prince before placing their food on the table. Everything seemed normal, but Frigga felt that something was wrong with her handmaiden. Her brown eyes were too bright, her hands were shaking as she set the table.

"Vela?" the Queen asked, standing up while Thor continued to play on top of a comfortable rug and pillows. "Is everything alright?"

The handmaiden turned to her mistress and smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. "Of course, my Queen. Why do you ask?"

"You seem... a bit tired," Frigga went on. "Do you want to rest? I can look after Thor the rest of the day. And the baby too."

Vela's smile vanished from her face. She stared at Frigga with wide eyes, her muscles strained. She shook her head.

"You are too kind, Queen Frigga. I assure you I am well. Thank you for worrying about me," Vela walked away from the table and kneeled in front of Thor. The blond toddler looked up and smiled at his sitter, as Vela caressed his cheeks. "You are Asgard's future, my Prince. I am sure you will make us proud."

Thor giggled and continued playing, while Frigga stared in awe at her handmaiden's strange behavior. Before she could say anything though, Vela stood up, bowed to her Queen and left the chamber.

Frigga stared at the door, hearing the elevator working. Vela was going to the upper floors, to the baby's chamber. 

Every hair on Frigga's skin rose, she felt something was terribly wrong. Vela's eyes... they looked like the eyes of the warriors who had lost everything in battle. They reminded her of her own eyes after losing Balder.

Eyes devoid of hope.

"Thor... wait here for me, darling. I will be right back," Frigga told her son, before rushing towards the elevator, only to find it locked.

"Vela!" Frigga screamed, but only her echo answered her. With a jolt, Frigga watched as the gates to the main stairs closed around her.

Vela had locked them out and gone to the baby.

"Vela! Vela, answer me! What are you doing?"

How could Frigga have been so blind? She knew, deep in her heart, that there was something wrong with her handmaiden, but she did nothing and left a helpless infant in her care for three days. Frigga should have checked, she should not have left the baby alone.

_The baby!_

Frigga ran back to Thor's chamber. After placing her son safely inside his playpen, Frigga searched the walls. This tower was one of the oldest buildings in Asgard and the chosen refuge for the royal children if they needed a place where to hide and escape quickly. Therefore, it was filled with secret passageways. 

Finding the right rock, a piece of the wall disappeared, revealing a golden staircase. Frigga immediately ran up the stairs, her heart beating furiously against her chest. In her head, all she could see was the little infant in her arms, looking at her so quietly, as if he knew he was safe. 

When she heard the screams, Frigga ran even faster. As she reached the top floor, she banged her fists on the walls until she pressed the secret switch and entered the chamber.

What she saw froze her in place.

The room was destroyed. The cabinet and the chair had been reduced to pieces, there was glass all over the floor, and even the tub had been thrown across the room. And in the corner, it lied the cradle, also destroyed. Beneath it, Frigga could see a tiny blue hand, motionless.

_No! No, please! No!_

Then, as if the Norns themselves had heard her plea, Frigga heard a weakened whimper and the little hand moved.

The baby was alive.

"SHUT UP!"

In front of her, Vela was standing in front of the ruined cradle with the metal leg of the former table in her hands. She was so enraged that did not notice her Queen behind her, shaking as she yelled at the whimpering child.

"SHUT UP, YOU MONSTER!" the handmaiden yelled, raising the metal above her head, ready to strike. "DIE! DIE YOU FILTHY BEAST!"

Frigga had no time to scream. She launched herself between her handmaiden and the baby, her arms open wide. When the metal hit her ribs she barely winced, her blue eyes were fixed on the child.

"Queen Frigga...?" Vela whispered, staring in shock at her Queen. 

Frigga pushed the ruined cradle away until she found the baby. The sight of him made her gasp more than the attack on her back had.

The baby Jotun was bleeding from several cuts, his blue skin even darker from extensive bruises. Worst of it all, he looked even more emaciated than the last time she had seen him, all his little bones sticking out as if he had been left to starve. 

Quickly, Frigga took him in her arms and pulled the battered, weakened body against her chest, immediately showering him with layers of healing spells. 

"Shh, baby... It's alright. You will be alright. I swear to you," she whispered against his little head as he whimpered quietly.  "I am so sorry, little one. I'm so sorry."

"Stand aside."

Frigga turned around, for a moment she had forgotten about Vela. She faced her handmaiden, still in shock at her rage and violence. The young woman was seething, glaring at the baby in the Queen's arms like she was holding a vicious monster.

"Vela. That's enough," Frigga told her slowly, shielding the baby from that hateful gaze. 

"Enough? It will never be enough until that thing dies," Vela spat angrily. "You know what it is. You know who its father is. Can you not see? It's a monster! And yet you keep it here, in the same tower where our Prince resides. Your  _own_  son! And you ask me to care for it!"

Frigga continued to pour healing spells on the baby, never taking her eyes from Vela. "He's not a monster, Vela. He's an innocent child."

"No Frost Giant is innocent! They're beasts! Murderers! And I won't let this one grow up to doom us all!"

Vela raised the metal leg, just as Frigga prepared herself to blast Vela and run towards the secret door. The handmaiden took one step before gasping in pain, the metal leg falling to the floor. Before Frigga's surprised eyes, Vela fell to the ground, screaming and pressing her hands on her abdomen.

Both women's eyes widened as a poll of blood began to form around Vela's legs. 

Holding the baby close, Frigga summoned Eir to the chamber with the utmost urgency, trying to make herself heard as Vela screamed in agony and grief.

* * *

 

An hour later, Frigga stood inside Thor's chamber, staring at the malnourished but still living baby sleeping on the bed.

After Eir arrived in the tower, she had urged the healer to take Vela to the healing halls, while she took care of the newborn. Eir stared at the baby for a second, not showing any reaction to the fact that the Queen of Asgard was holding a Jotun child, and merely swearing that she would be back as soon as possible to treat him as well, before vanishing with a screaming Vela in her arms. 

She went down the stairs to her son's chamber and placed the newborn on Thor's bed, summoning all her strength to heal him, while a bewildered Thor called for her on his playpen.

"Easy, my love. The baby needs help, let mama heal him, alright?" 

Thor, strangely, had remained silent, peeking from the bars of his playpen, his big blue eyes wide as he stared at the blue baby in his bed. When Frigga was done, healing every cut, bruise, and bone, she took the baby in her arms and held him close as he cried.

"There, there, my love. It's over now," she whispered, kissing his cold head. "You are safe."

Frigga was so worried about the baby that she did not notice Thor climbing the bars of his playpen and running towards her until she felt his little hands on her legs. 

"Mama no cry," the toddler said to her, as Frigga realized her own tears running down her face. 

"It's alright, Thor," she told her eldest boy, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Mama was just worried. I am fine now."

Thor looked at his mother's face before following the baby's whimpers with his eyes. In awe, he climbed his bed and stared at the blue newborn in Frigga's arms, reaching out to grab him.

"Thor, no," Frigga told him, pulling the baby away from his grasp. Thor was a sweet boy, but he could be rough and unaware of his own strength. "The baby is hurt. We need to be very gentle with him."

Thor stared at his mother with wide eyes and then at the baby. With slower movements, he reached out to the baby and, almost nervously, placed his hand on the baby's head, gently stroking him. 

"There, there, baby," Thor said softly. "No cry. No cry..."

Frigga could not help but smile as her son tried to comfort the baby. It did not matter that Thor was the Crown Prince of Asgard or that this newborn was the rightful heir to the crown of Jotunheim, right now, they were merely two children. One was hurting and the other was trying to soothe him. 

If only the rest of the realms could think like them...

Eventually, the baby's stopped crying, his red eyes dropping with sleep. Frigga placed the baby on the bed, watching as Thor moved closer to him. She grabbed the toddler's hand and pressed it against the baby's smaller one. Thor smiled with delight as the baby's tiny fingers curled around his hand. 

"There, there, baby," Thor said to the blue newborn, whose sleepy red eyes were now fixed on his smiling face. 

Just like with Frigga before, the baby's skin began to change colors and soon Thor was holding a warm, pink hand. "Mama! Mama, look! Magic!"

Frigga nodded at her son. "Yes, Thor. Magic."

Happily, Thor moved closer to the baby boy, still holding his hand. Under his mother's watchful gaze, he began to sing one of the lullabies his parents had sung him to sleep numerous times, watching as the baby's now green eyes slowly closed and he fell asleep. Feeling quite sleepy himself, the older prince lied down next to the baby, whispering comforting words while his mother placed a warm blanket over them.

"Nighty... boda..." Thor whispered as he also fell into a deep sleep.

The door to Thor's chamber opened, revealing a distraught Odin. The King of Asgard looked around the room with his one eye, a leather eye-patch covered his right one.

"Frigga! How—?"

Frigga raised her finger to her lips, moving her head to the bed. "Careful. You'll wake the children."

Odin walked into the chamber, his one eye finally seeing the two boys sleeping soundly. The All-Father raised his eyebrows but said nothing as he moved closer to the bed. 

"How is he?" Odin asked, watching the sleeping baby next to his son.

"I believe I've healed every wound. But I would prefer if Eir took a look at him," Frigga told her husband, sitting by the children on the bed. 

Odin nodded and eyed his wife with a heavy expression. 

"I'm sorry you had to deal with this, Frigga. You should not have been involved."

The Queen faced her husband. "Of course I should have. This is my fault. If had noticed Vela's hatred earlier..."

Odin tried to move closer to his wife, but memories of their past encounters kept him away. 

"You had no way of knowing," Odin explained. "Vela was involved with a young Einherjar. We only learned of his fate today when my men found his corpse on Jotunheim."

Frigga opened her mouth and then closed it again. She understood now, Vela had been hoping for her beloved's return, only to learn that he was dead today. She could not seek vengeance against the Jotnar or Laufey, so she took it on his son instead.

"She was with child," Frigga said, to which Odin confirmed with a nod. "She lost it as well."

Odin took a long deep breath. "Aye. Eir tried to save it, but there was nothing to be done. She thinks the stress may have caused her to miscarriage."

"Poor Vela..." 

Frigga ran her hand over Thor's blond hair and then the baby's, unaware of Odin's surprised expression over this demonstration of affection.

"Eir vowed to keep her separated from the rest of the wounded," Odin informed her. "She's highly sedated. We will need to consider erasing her memory later."

Frigga did not respond. Erasing memories was highly controversial, but she did not see how else they could protect the baby when Vela decided to tell the rest of Asgard that the son of Laufey was inside this tower with the Queen and the Prince. 

The little one would receive little mercy from a mob of grieving Aesir. 

Eir arrived only minutes later, demanding to check the baby's health. Frigga, reluctantly, picked up the newborn, separated him from Thor, and handed him to the healer who turned around and left the chamber to conduct her examination in another room. 

Odin and Frigga followed her to the bathroom, where Eir began her checkup, waking the baby up who immediately began crying.

Carefully yet professionally, Eir inspected the baby's head, ears, eyes, and mouth, moving to his chest and abdomen, arms and legs. After checking his primitive reflexes, she handed the crying baby to Odin, who took him very carefully, as if his strong hands could hurt the tiny baby. He glanced towards his wife, who simply moved his hand so he could hold the baby more comfortably. His one eye pleaded ‘I have not done this in years.’

"Regarding the assault, I must congratulate you, Queen Frigga. Your healing was most effective, there was hardly anything for me to do," the healer told the concerned King and Queen. "What concerns me the most is the baby's malnourishment. He's hydrated, which is good, but he does not appear to be gaining any weight, he is actually losing it. A newborn requires nourishment, it is vital to his survival. What have you been feeding him?"

Frigga stared at her husband with a worried expression on her. She had not been involved with the baby's feeding, so she had no idea what he ate, or if Vela had actually fed him at all.

"I instructed Vela to feed the baby different formulas I researched after returning to Asgard," the King announced. "I stopped by the chamber every night and I did see Vela feeding the child, so I know she did not starve him during the hours she knew I would appear. However, I was told the baby vomited most of the formulas. His body does not seem to be tolerating them."

Frigga stared at her husband's face more closely, he looked exhausted and emotionally drained. After coming from the war, he had to rule Asgard, coordinate the retrieval of the bodies, prepare the funerals, work out the peace treaty and he had found the time to look up formulas to feed the baby. 

_Odin..._

"Preferably, the baby should be breastfed, but I understand getting a Jotun wet-nurse is not an option," Eir said as Odin confirmed her suspicions. "I would suggest keeping looking at other formulas until we find one that his Jotun body is able to tolerate. I will do some research myself and I'll be checking on the baby two times a day, whenever I get free time from the healing halls. With the amount of wounded, it may be a bit difficult."

Odin and Frigga thanked the healer and brought the baby back to Thor's chamber where they discussed their next move. It was decided that Frigga would look after Thor and the baby by herself, she could not trust another handmaiden, and Odin would come to visit as often as he could, bring supplies and new formulas for the baby. As Frigga told her husband what kind of clothing she wanted him to bring for the baby, they were both surprised to realize how much they resembled two concerned parents fussing over their new child.

Both of them said nothing about it, too afraid of what the other would say about those feelings and knowing that, eventually, the baby would have to leave their care when Odin found a suitable guardian.

This baby was not theirs, they could not allow themselves to forget it. 

The following week, Frigga had moved the baby's new cradle and other belongings to her chamber, where she could care for him day and night. She often brought Thor to her chamber as well, so she could look after the two children at the same time. 

At first, the Queen had been afraid Thor would feel jealous of the new baby and how much attention she and Odin were giving him, but the toddler was delighted with the baby, watching him at all times, asking his mother to touch and held the baby himself and playing next to his cradle when he was asleep. 

Frigga tried not to think of how Thor would react when the baby was eventually taken. He was going to be devastated. 

Frigga herself felt her chest aching whenever she remembered that she would have to give the baby away. 

 _He is not your son,_  she told herself.  _You cannot forget that. You are not his mother. His mother is on Jotunheim._

Ever since the incident with Vela, the baby had remained in his Aesir form, even when he was sleeping. Regardless of his skin or the way he looked like, Frigga felt no different towards him. She began to recognize his voice, she knew when he cried in discomfort, wanted to be held or when he was hungry. Unfortunately, he was always hungry. He regurgitated all the formulas Odin had brought, much to their alarm. They kept him hydrated with water, but they could not feed him.

The baby kept losing weight. He was starving right in front of Frigga's eyes.

One night, eight days after she had taken the baby to her chamber to care for him, Frigga was sitting by the window, holding the crying baby as his little tummy growled with hunger. Tears began to fall from the Queen's eyes, the baby was skin and bones, Eir's last visit had filled her with dread. If they did not find a way to feed him, he would be dead in a matter of days. 

"I know, my love. I know. You're in pain," Frigga whispered to the whimpering child in her arms. "I wish I could feed you. I wish I could give what you need, but we have not found it yet."

With his little head turned against her chest, the baby's mouth began to open and close, his head moving as he searched for her bosom in his primal need for nourishment.

"Oh, baby boy..." Frigga suppressed a sob. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I do not have what you need."

The baby kept searching, crying even more despairing when he could not find it. With her heart filled with sadness, Frigga rocked the baby back and forth, knowing there was nothing she could do to ease his pain. 

The baby needed a mother. He needed  _his_  mother.

When he finally cried himself to sleep, Frigga placed the baby in the cradle and kissed his forehead. Right there, she vowed she would save him at any cost. She was not going to let him die. 

 _I won't lose another child_.

In the next thirty minutes, she prepared the magic circle with the few household items she had. Creating an astral projection was advanced sorcery, one she had mastered in her youth, but she had not used magic in years, so it took her more than half her normal time to get the spell ready.

She knew Odin would not approve what she was about to do, but Odin did not understand. He was a King, his priority was the Realm, same with Laufey. Odin was worried about how the people of Asgard would react to a Jotun in their Realm and how he could use the Crown Prince of Jotunheim to create peace, while Laufey had tried to get rid of his heir because his small size was an insult to his royal bloodline.

Frigga did not care about politics, future plans or a king's pride. The baby in her care was a just a child, his royal status and his kind did not matter. He was a baby who needed his mother, and Frigga was going to bring them together.

She had been thinking about Queen Farbauti a lot in the previous days. She wondered if the Queen of Jotunheim had any say when her child had been taken from her. If she had objected, if she had pleaded to see her son before he was left to die...

In Frigga's mind, the answer was obvious. She could not fathom how any mother could have allowed her child to be killed. Even though Farbauti was a warrior and had participated in the war while pregnant, she had carried this child in her womb for two years, her firstborn child. She had to be grieving. 

Frigga glanced towards the sleeping baby, her heart suddenly very heavy but she had made up her mind. She was going to talk with Farbauti and arrange a meeting, there were ways to get to Jotunheim in secret. Once the baby was with his mother, he would nurse from her and be saved from starvation. 

It did not matter that Frigga would probably never see him again.

_Will you remember me, little one? In the depths of your heart?_

Pushing back tears, Frigga summoned all the strength she had and allowed her spirit to roam free. She saw mountains and ice, snow falling all around her. She passed by the desolate palace of Jotunheim and saw the despondent Jotnar carrying their own dead and wounded soldiers back to the royal city. She thought she would find Farbauti in the Palace, but her spirit was pulled away, deep into the mountains, finally stopping by a simple and isolated cabin. 

Frigga's first reaction was that of dismay. The fearless Queen of Jotunheim had been banished to this remote place only for giving birth to a small child? Had that been her only crime? Was not losing the child cruel enough?

The Queen of Asgard was surprised when an ax passed right through her chest, getting stuck in a rock behind her. 

"Who goes there?" a low, female voice asked from within the cabin. 

Frigga looked on as a huge Jotun woman got out of the cabin. She was surprised by the woman's beauty, despite her size. However, the Jotun woman was clearly unwell, she looked emaciated and weak, and there were large dark circles around her red eyes. 

Despite this, Frigga noticed the markings on the woman's skin, the same ones that appeared on the baby's when he was in his Jotun form. This was definitely Farbauti, Queen of Jotunheim and the baby's mother.

"A witch," Farbauti spat, glaring at the apparition in front of her. Frigga was wearing a hood, so she could not see her face and recognize her. "What are you? Vanir? Aesir? Have you come to gloat over my disgraced state?"

Frigga remained where she was. Obviously, Farbauti would be angered and bitter, she had to choose her words wisely.

"I mean you no harm, Queen Farbauti," she told her. "I only wish to talk."

"Talk? There is nothing to talk, filthy witch. Leave this place at once!"

Frigga took a deep breath. She had anticipated anger, after all, she had been like that herself not long ago.

"I do not mean to cause you pain, Queen Farbauti. I merely wish to talk to you about your child. I wanted to ask—"

To Frigga's dismay, Farbauti let out a furious growl and attacked her illusion with her bare fists. 

"You come here and you dare to insult me by bringing up that thing?!" Farbauti yelled. 

Frigga was taken aback. It was not grief that she saw in Farbauti's eyes, it was not anger over the loss of a child. She saw hatred and revulsion. 

"For two years I carried that thing in my womb. I lost my strength, my health. Lives were lost protecting me because we all believed this child would be the future of Jotunheim, but we were wrong. That creature was no child, it was parasite draining my life. It cost me everything! My health, my reputation... It shamed my bloodline!"

Frigga took a step back. She could not believe what she was hearing. She had come here convinced she would find a grieving mother, but Farbauti only grieved for her lost pride and the child she wished had been born, not the one she had lost. 

"Have you come here to throw that creature's existence in my face, witch? It does not matter anymore. The thing is dead. We have followed the rites and Ymir will reward me with a healthy, worthy child. So, if you wish to taunt me, do it as a warrior and show yourself instead of hiding behind your tricks! Show yourself so I can rip you in half!"

As Farbauti grabbed her ax and swung it at Frigga, she dispelled her illusion and fell on the floor of her chamber in Asgard, gasping for air. She must have made a loud noise because the baby woke up and began weeping with his weakened voice. He was so frail that he no longer had the strength to cry.

With her heart aching and tears running down her cheeks, Frigga went to the baby and took him in her arms, holding him close. He was an orphan, alone in this world. The people who should love him more than anything, his father and mother, had completely discarded him. They wished him dead. 

"How could they do this to you, little one? How could  _she?"_  Frigga asked, knowing she would not get an answer. "She does not deserve you, my love. She is  _not_  your mother. She does not have the right to call herself that. I wish you were..."

The baby whimpered, his little face turned towards her chest once more. Frigga stopped and stared at the child, tears still falling down her face and her blue eyes grew wide. She kissed the newborn's head, his scent was already familiar to her. She would know him in a crowd of other babies, she would recognize his cry and his touch.

She knew him.

_I wish... you were mine._

Slowly, Frigga pulled her gown down, exposing her chest. As she pulled the baby towards her, feeling his skin against her own, she was overwhelmed with an emotion she had only felt twice in her life, first with Thor and then with Balder. She had felt this before in the previous days, but she did not allow her heart to acknowledge it. Now, she could feel the walls she had built around her heart slowly crumbling as she recognized the nature of the attachment she felt between her and the baby.

She guided the baby's mouth to her breast and watched as his whimpers ceased the moment he began nursing, his whole body relaxing as he moved towards her skin, finding comfort with her touch even though he was not receiving the milk he needed. 

Staring at the baby, seeing how perfectly he fitted in her arms, Frigga let the final walls around her heart to fall completely. She had been wrong. This child was not alone, he was not unloved nor unwanted. He was not an orphan. 

This child was  _hers_. She knew it as surely as she had known with Thor and Balder, this baby was her son. 

When Balder was taken, she had believed there was no room inside her heart for anyone else, that if she allowed it she would be replacing Balder. However, she now realized that there was enough room for all her children. Balder's place in her heart remained unchanged, as would it always be, but she had found there was room for Thor and, most surprisingly of all, there was now a permanent place for the new baby as well. His own place. 

Farbauti may have birthed him, but he was not meant for her.  He was her baby. He had always been her baby, but she had not allowed herself to acknowledge that. 

"My son," she whispered, watching the newborn as he nursed with contentment, and it felt so right. "My sweet baby boy. I am here. Your mother is here and she loves you so much. I'm sorry, it took me a while to see it. I was blind... But I see you now. I see you, my son, and I will save you."

As the baby continued to nurse, Frigga summoned Eir. When the healer arrived, the Queen explained what she meant to do. Eir was ready to obey her request, but she wished to make sure the young mother knew what she was doing.

"I can bring you the medicine you ask, but, you must know, it does not guarantee the baby's survival," Eir told the Queen, not reacting or commenting the fact that the Queen of Asgard was nursing the crown prince of Jotunheim, her main concern were the baby's health and the Queen's mental state. "It might not work."

"I know," Frigga asked, cradling the child. "But if I do nothing, he will die. I will not allow it to happen, not when we have not tried everything. Please, my dear friend. Let me try."

Eir nodded and mere minutes later she brought the Queen the herbs she had requested. After placing the herbs on a cup with boiling water, she handed it to Frigga who drank it all. Both women sat down and waited, watching impatiently as the baby continued nursing.

It happened a few minutes later. The baby's nursing grew more urgent as milk flowed to his starving mouth and tummy. The herbs had induced lactation so Frigga could breastfeed her child.

Even though she was not Jotun and her milk could have the same effect the formulas had, the baby kept nursing hungrily, often needing time to rest before resuming his feeding. By the time Frigga moved him to her other breast, she and Eir saw that he showed no signs of nausea or reflux and, when he was finally full and fell into a gratified sleep, his belly was not rumbling. 

The two women decided to wait until the morning. Frigga placed the baby in his cradle and watched over him all night, looking for any signs of intolerance to her milk, worried sick she had made things worse. But when morning came and the baby woke up crying with renewed hunger, she picked him up and watched him as he nursed again until his tummy was filled with milk and he fell asleep again. There were still no signs of intolerance to her milk. 

At the end of the day, for the first time since he had been born, her son was neither hungry or in pain. He was satisfied and gained weight. 

By nighttime, Frigga took the children to the bathroom on the bottom floor, where instead of a tub, there was a large natural fountain. As soon as he was undressed, Thor jumped excitedly to the water, happily splashing water everywhere, while Frigga sat near the edge of the fountain, holding the baby. After Thor had his fun, Frigga called him and washed his head with one hand. 

"Mama, wash baby now!" Thor told her after they were done with his bath. 

"Alright, sweetheart. It's the baby's turn now," Frigga placed the newborn in the warm waters, smiling as his green eyes widened and he moved his little hands and feet under the water. "Do you want to help Mother wash him?"

"Yes! I wanna help," the little blond moved between his mother's legs and let her help him held the baby in his young arms while sitting in her lap. 

Frigga put a bit of liquid soap in Thor's hands and helped him wash the baby's skin. "Careful now, my love. You have to wash him very gently. Be careful with his eyes."

"Yes, mama," Thor did as she said, occasionally tickling the baby's tummy and patting him on the head. When they were finished, the toddler beamed at the baby and gave him a big kiss on the top of his little head. "There! All clean now, boda!"

Frigga's blue eyes grew wide. She had believed that Thor had forgotten all about the brother they told him he was going to get. When Balder was taken, Thor was not told the truth, instead, his Father had sat him down on his lap and explained to him that his baby brother was not coming after all. Little Thor had understood his father's words and cried for a while, but soon he was distracted by his toys and games. 

Which was why Frigga had paid little attention to Thor's words in the past days, thinking they were simple toddler jargon since Thor always had trouble saying certain words. She had been mistaken.

All this time, Thor had been calling the baby 'brother'. 

"Oh, Thor..."  Frigga muttered, hugging the children close. Her two beautiful boys. 

After Thor handed her back the baby and went back to playing in the water, the baby started to get fussy, once again hungry, and calming down once he was nursing. When the doors of the bathroom opened, both Frigga and Thor raised their heads to see Odin entering the room.

The King of Asgard stared at his wife, his one eye wide when he saw the baby breastfeeding. Frigga pulled the child closer and faced her husband, neither of them doing or saying anything. Their silence was broken however by a happy Thor, who jumped from the fountain. 

"Papa!" the little blond yelled as he ran to his Father's waiting arms.

"Thor! How are you, my son?" Odin said, holding his son tight and rubbing his back with his large hands. "Did you take a bath?"

"Yes! I'm clean, Papa! Come too! Come, Papa!"

Odin smiled at his son and glanced towards his wife. Frigga saw his apprehension, his fear of moving closer to her and pushing her way. He seemed so tired and so lonely, all day surrounded by death, caring for everyone in the Realm but having no one to care for him in return. 

Frigga saw it now. Her grief had blinded her and she had not seen her husband's own sorrow, she had been too wrapped up in her own. Frigga had lost a son, but Odin had also lost his wife. 

"Please stay, Odin," she told her husband, watching his incredulous face with a small, encouraging smile. 

The King kept staring at his Queen as if he did not quite understand her words. When Thor jumped from his arms and pulled him towards the fountain, Odin finally undressed and joined his family in the bath. 

After playing with Thor in the water for a long time, the King asked his son to rest while the little one continued to play happily. Odin moved towards his wife, only sitting by her side once she smiled at him, reassuring him that she did not mind his proximity. 

"That boy seems to be made of electricity," Odin commented, as they stared at Thor swimming and jumping. "There's no end to his energy."

"Well... the name you chose for him literally means 'thunder', he lives up to it," Frigga told him lightheartedly. "He'll calm down soon and he'll fall asleep as soon as he sits down. Let him play. He's happy."

"Aye. It has been... a long time since we have all been together like this."

Frigga nodded, feeling a painful stab of guilt. "Yes. Yes, it has."

Odin stared at her and then at the baby. He had finished nursing and was now sleeping comfortably between Frigga's arms and the warm water. 

"What about this one?" Odin asked, inspecting the baby and touching his little head. "He looks... better. There's more color to his skin."

Frigga moved the baby, who kept sleeping soundly.

"Are you not going to ask?" she turned to her husband. "You saw us."

Odin stared at Frigga and then back at the baby, placing his finger around the child's hand and watching him grab it. "You're breastfeeding him. One of Eir's herbs?"

Frigga nodded. "None of the formulas were working. We did not try this option before, so I decided to do it."

"And... did he tolerate it?" Odin asked, staring at the skinny baby. 

"He did. I feed him last night and all day today. He did not vomit once," Frigga answered. "He stopped crying with hunger and he gained a bit of weight."

"Those are good news, Frigga. Very good news. I thought he was going to..." Odin closed his mouth, he did not need to say it. They both thought the baby would die of starvation. "I am sorry you had to burden yourself like this, my love. It must not have been easy to make this decision. I should of have thought of it sooner and gotten a wet-nurse."

Frigga raised her head and faced her husband.

"You are mistaken, Odin. This is not a burden. I am doing this gladly," she pulled the baby closer and watched his little chest rise and fall as he slept before facing her husband. "Odin… I will not have another woman nurse him or become his caretaker. No one in this Realm loves this child more than I do."

Odin opened his mouth. He was about to speak when Frigga interrupted him.

"Please, let me finish. No one will ever take Balder's place, we cannot replace what we've lost, but this child needs me. I love him, Odin. I love him just as much as I love Thor and Balder. He is my son. I feel it in my soul and with every fiber of my body. The Norns have brought this child to my life for a reason, we were meant to find each other. I am his mother and I will raise him, against the rest of Asgard if I must. Just... please, do not take my son away from me. I am ready to face any consequences." 

Odin's mouth drop as he stared deep into Frigga's unwavering eyes. Her decision had been made. She was going to be this child's mother regardless of Odin's opinion and they both knew she would not go back on her word. However, if she was honest with herself, Frigga wished her husband would approve and see the baby boy as he was, a child who had come into their lives to become part of their family, not simply a tool they could use to establish peace between Asgard and Jotunheim. 

Frigga wanted her son to have a father.

Slowly, Odin reached out for the child and took him in his large arms. The baby opened his green eyes and whimpered for a few seconds before the King of Asgard pulled him against his muscular chest and the baby fell asleep once again. Gently, Odin rubbed the child's head and cheek. 

"It will not be easy, my love," Odin finally answered, still staring at the sleeping baby. "The people of Asgard are filled with hate towards the Jotnar, rightfully so after the Invasion of Midgard caused so many deaths. Fathers, brothers, husbands, sons... so many good men will never return their loved ones. Having the Crown Prince of Jotunheim raised as a Prince of Asgard will be seen as... unforgivable. No one will approve of this."

Frigga nodded. "I know, but we have faced greater challenges and we have prevailed. I will worry about Asgard and the other Realm's opinion tomorrow. Now, this child needs his family. Thor already sees him as his brother and I will raise them both as my children. The Aesir, the Jotnar... they need time to heal. In time, they will look at this child and see we are not so different from one another. We can live in peace."

Odin said nothing. All they could hear were the sounds of Thor playing and the water running from the fountains.

Frigga dropped her head. 

"I know how much I am asking of you and I know your feelings regarding Laufey. I understand that staring at his son, brings back painful memories, let alone raising him as our son, giving him your name... I understand it must be very difficult for you."

Odin listened to his Queen's words in contemplative silence, his one eye fixed on the boy's sleeping face, his cheek leaning against his chest. Frigga could not tell what he was thinking, but she knew her husband well. She saw the way he held the baby, how gently he cared for him. These actions were more than simple pity, Odin would not have behaved like this with a child of an enemy he wished to use just for the Realm's sake. 

"When I learned Farbauti was pregnant, I felt... horrified," the King of Asgard told his wife. "Suddenly, all I could see when she entered the battlefield was the child she was carrying inside her womb. Every time I faced her in battle, I noticed that her belly was still growing and I felt... relieved. The child...  _this_  child, was still alive. I ordered my men to not attack her. I kept thinking what I would do if she went into labor during a battle... Then, one of my men stabbed her in the abdomen and I was terrified. I was sure the baby had been killed. By the time the war was over, I went into the Temple of Ymir, searching for peace, isolation. I wanted to clear my mind from all the death I had witnessed and brought, all the lives that had been so needlessly lost. That's when I heard him, crying alone over the Ymir's alter, his umbilical cord still attached. When I saw the marks on his skin, I knew he was Laufey's son and I was... so glad. A life had made it past this senseless war. The fact that Laufey had left him there to die was unbearable. He lost the right to be his father the moment he placed him on that frozen rock." 

Frigga listened to her husband quietly. Odin had been the first Aesir to lay eyes on this child after battling his pregnant mother for years, he had saved and brought him back to his wife and son. Perhaps they shared a connection deeper than Frigga had thought.

"No member of the royal family has ever adopted a child before," Odin said, staring at the baby as his lips curled into a warm smile. "I guess we will be the first."

Frigga's eyes widened and she beamed at her husband and the baby, placing a hand over Odin's which was still caressing the baby's head. 

Their son. 

"Welcome to Asgard... my son," Odin said, smiling at the baby and then turning at his wife. Frigga pulled his face closer and they kissed for the first time in years, nothing but love and happiness in both their minds. 

They dined together that night. No servants, no royal duties, just a mother, a father, and their small sons, enjoying each other company, easily fitting the new baby into their family. 

After a lot of persistence on Thor's part, they agreed to let him sleep with his parents in Frigga's chamber tonight. Odin grabbed Thor by the hand, held the baby with the other and took them upstairs. Frigga stayed behind and stared at the mountains, her sister's letter around her hand.

"I love you, Balder. I will always love you, my son," she whispered. 

She walked towards the fireplace and dropped the letter in the fire. When nothing but cinders remained, Frigga went up the stairs to meet her family. 

About an hour later, Thor and the baby were both sleeping, the toddler between her and Odin and the newborn in her arms. Frigga turned to her husband, there was still a very important matter they needed to discuss.

"It’s your turn,” Frigga told him quietly.

Odin stared at her, confused. "My turn?"

"Aye. You named Thor. I named Balder,” she looked tenderly at the baby boy. "It’s only fair you pick the name of our third son.”

Odin lowered his head and stared at the sleeping baby with a serious expression on his face. He placed a hand on the child's much smaller one and watched as he instinctively grabbed it.

“Knowing you, I’m guessing you already have at least ten names in mind.”

“Fifteen, actually,” Odin answered.

“Well, I’m sure you will pick a great one, my love,” Frigga told him, kissing him softly on the lips.  _“_ And if you do not, I will personally intervene and save this little one from his Father’s bad taste.”

She had meant her words as a jest, but Odin's expression grew even more serious. Soon, this child would no longer be nameless, he would have a name and Odin's name to his identity. A name was an important thing and naming your child was even more important. Frigga wondered what was going on Odin's mind, what sort of names he was considering. 

"Loki," Odin finally said.

Frigga stared at her husband and then at their son.

"Loki... Loki Odinson," she tested the name on her lips and looked deep into her youngest son face. Loki was an old name, of that she was sure. One of its many definitions was 'wildfire'. She smiled at the baby, it was a good name. “Hello, Loki. Welcome to your family, my love.”

Frigga placed Loki inside his cradle and fell asleep next to her husband and eldest child, her heart filled with joy and hope for the next day that awaited her family. She was ready to start over and be the mother her sons needed her to be.

She woke up with screams.

Thor was standing by the wall, banging his tiny fists against the rock, crying his heart out. In a second, Odin and Frigga got up and ran to their child.

"Thor! What is the matter, son?" Odin asked, turning the boy to face his terrified parents. 

Thor tried to speak through his sobs, but he could not. Instead, he pointed towards the cradle. Frigga stood up and peeked inside, to her horror, the crib was empty. Loki was gone.

"She took him! She took him!" Thor kept crying, pointing towards the wall. Frigga remembered that it was actually a secret passageway. "Vela took my boda!"

Gasping with terror, both Frigga and Odin ran to the wall and pressed the secret stone to open the passage. Odin picked a struggling Thor and placed him on the bed.

"Papa! Papa, I want my boda!" little Thor cried.

"We will get your brother, Thor. Stay here! We'll be right back!"

Frigga and Odin closed the passageway behind them and ran up the stairs, just like Frigga had done only days ago. Frigga heart was pounding painfully inside her chest, memories of the destroyed chamber and Loki's battered body filled her terrified mind.

 _Please don't... Please, not again. Not my son._  

Odin reached the end of the stairs first and pressed the stone to open the door allowing the two distraught parents to enter the chamber on top of the tower. They stopped at the entrance.

Vela was holding the crying baby, one knife on her hand aimed towards his little chest and one foot outside the window. She turned to face the King and Queen, her eyes were filled with disgust.

"Vela! Let go of the child!" Odin ordered, summoning Gungnir at once to his hand. 

Vela grinned and laughed. She had lost weight and her hair and clothes were filthy, however, it was her eyes that frightened Frigga. There were hatred, loss, and madness inside them. 

"Vela... please..." Frigga pleaded, taking one tentative step forward.

The handmaiden pressed the knife closer to the baby's chest, right above his heart.

"Do not take another step. He will be dead before you reach me."

Odin pointed his spear at her head. "You hurt that child and I will disintegrate you, Vela. Let him go!"

"Strike me down and I will make sure this thing falls down the window to the rocks down below,  _All-Father_ ," she spat Odin's title like poison. 

"Vela... you are ill. You've suffered a great loss, but this child is not responsible. Please, let him go. We can help you," Frigga asked, only to be met by Vela's hate-filled glare.

"Help me? You dishonor Egil's death and our child's by caring for the son of the monster who murdered him! I heard you! I have escaped the healing hall and hidden between the walls of this tower! I heard everything!" Vela yelled, digging her nails into Loki's skin, making the baby cry even harder. "You were going to make this thing a Prince of Asgard! Raise him alongside Prince Thor! How could you? After everything the Jotnar have done... You have spit on the face every Asgardian that has perished during the war! You are unworthy of our sacrifice! Of our blood and tears! But no more... I will not let you doom us all by placing a Frost Giant near the throne of Asgard!"

As Vela plunged the knife into the baby's chest, Frigga raised her arm and send an energy blast that hit her hand, forcing the knife to fall and breaking the handmaiden's wrist. Odin took this opportunity to rush towards her and the baby, but Vela was quick.

With one swift move, she threw herself and the baby out of the window.

Frigga screamed, watching it all unfold as if time had slowed down but she remained incapable of moving. She watched as Vela disappeared with Loki through the window, followed by Odin.

Finally urging her legs to move, Frigga ran to the window and looked down, still screaming for Odin and her son. She saw Vela's body, stuck between two rocks at the bottom of the tower by the river, bent at an impossible angle as red blood ran down to the waters. Only then, she heard a baby's cry.

Her heart almost stopped when she saw Odin clinging to a stone of the tower with one hand, while the other held their crying son.

"Loki! Odin!" Frigga cried out, reaching out to her husband and helping him pull himself and the baby to the chamber. Frigga immediately grabbed her son, checking for any injuries.

"He's fine, Frigga. He's fine. He's safe," Odin told her as he held her close, both reaching for the baby. "She did not hurt him."

"Loki... baby... my baby," she cried out, holding her crying son close while Odin rubbed her back. 

"He's safe now, my love. It's over."

Frigga kissed Loki's cheek and rocked him back and forth until he soothed. "It's alright, my son. Mama and Papa are here. We're here and we'll keep you safe."

As Loki stopped crying, Frigga let her own tears fall while Odin hugged her and their child. They had been so naive, thinking they could simply adopt the heir of Jotunheim and expect everyone to eventually get used to the idea. 

Loki was a target. He would never be safe. Servants, warriors, guards, even people they considered friends could try to either kill him or hurt him. Neither Frigga nor Odin could protect their son at all times. In addition, if he survived his infancy, Loki would never have a normal life in Asgard, there would always be someone trying to murder him, he would be hated by all.

"He is going to be ostracized. The people will either try to harm him or despise him for what he is. He will never one of them," Frigga wept, leaning to her husband while holding Loki close. "They will hate him..."

Odin pulled her closer. "Mentalities can change with time, Frigga... but, for the foreseeable future, our people will resent him for being a Jotun and the son of Laufey. There is nothing we can do to change their minds."

Frigga looked at Loki, who was cooing softly against her chest. Her heart ached for her little boy. 

"He does not deserve this... This is no way to raise a child. He will be miserable... and alone. No one will want to befriend him. If people eventually turn Thor against him, he will have no brother either."

Odin took a deep breath, he also seemed to be at the edge of his rope. 

"And... if Jotunheim learns of his existence, they could consider him a threat to the throne. They could use that reason to force their way into Asgard to take him... or even take Thor as well in retaliation."

Frigga pulled the baby’s head against her shoulder, tears falling down her face. After a few minutes, she faced her husband, her bloodshot eyes solemn. 

"Tomorrow, we will leave this tower and make an announcement," Frigga told him. "We will tell them I was pregnant and that I was kept hidden with Thor inside this Tower for our and the baby's protection during the war. He was born just recently."

Odin stared at his wife and placed a hand on top of Loki's head before nodding. "Until the time is right, no one will ever know. Loki is a son of Odin and a Prince of Asgard, and that is what everyone will know, including him."

Frigga nodded and grabbed her husband's hand. Their mind was made up. No one would know the truth about Loki's heritage, not even himself. They would keep their son happy and safe in Asgard, raising him like any Aesir. 

In time, when the hatred between Asgard and Jotunheim ceased, they would tell their son the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was taken directly from my Start Anew story, however, since it can also be viewed as a one-shot, I've decided to repost it. I hope you like it.


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